There may be no need to discuss anything with school staff at all. This depends on your child and your personal situation. If your child is open to talking about being intersex and is likely to mention it in school, then it is best to speak with their teacher and the head of the kindergarten, nursery or school in advance. You should check what they know about being intersex (or more likely be ready to refer them to information about it), discuss the possible scenarios that are likely to arise and agree on how they should be handled. If your child rarely gives being intersex a second thought and therefore seldom or never mentions it, there may be no need to inform school staff at this point.
If your child needs to take medication or needs any specific facilities for changing/using the bathroom, then plans to deal with this should be agreed with the necessary staff. Remind school staff that your child has a right to privacy and that any information disclosed should be treated confidentially, only being shared with those who need to know. Inform yourself on regulations and guidelines that are in place in your area.
Before starting high school or college, have a talk with your child about how they would like the situation to be managed. Encourage them to think about the pros and cons of different approaches and what some of the consequences may be, so they can make an informed decision. If they decide that a meeting with the school or institution before they start is the best plan, encourage them to be involved in the meeting and support them to take a lead in the discussions by planning what they want to say and preparing for any questions that are likely to be asked.
It’s good to ask the school if they have a bullying policy and to discuss how they deal with incidents. It’s also worth asking about pupil support and what services or groups are available to learners that might be helpful.
If your child wants to be open about being intersex, discuss different ways of raising the subject with staff and agree on how they can support your child to do this in a way that feels positive and safe. Think about ways that you and the staff can check in with your child in a non-intrusive way to ensure they aren’t experiencing any negative consequences of being openly intersex. If your child doesn’t want to disclose they are intersex or chooses only to do so to a few trusted individuals, talk through how to manage this and how they would deal with someone finding out accidentally.